Changes
by MissOriginalVampire
Summary: Maybe I'm going crazy, or maybe it's all a big side effect of becoming a vampire. But one thing's for sure. I can't shake him. Delena. Set sometime after 4x15, somewhat AU. All reviews are welcome.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone, this is the beginning of my new story! Please review, I hope you enjoy it :)**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE VAMPIRE DIARIES. ALL RIGHTS REMAIN WITH THEIR RESPECTED OWNERS.**

Changes

Chapter 1

It's the little things in life that make us who we are. We all have that sound, smell or sight that takes us back to a time gone by, that familiar face or one perfect day. There's something powerful about those moments when you stop in the middle of a busy day. You stop, overwhelmed by the memory of that time, that person, that experience. It's in these moments that we stop and realise how far we've come. More importantly, how far we've still to go. It's these moments that remind us we are alive. And I miss them. I miss them with all my heart.

The wind howls and rain lashes at the windows as I sit perched on the edge of my vintage sofa. The room is dull, with the occasional bolt of lightening scaring away the shadows. A dog-eared, leather-bound photo album lies in my lap and I turn it's worn pages carefully, studying the ancient pictures hidden inside. I have, of course, examined them hundreds of times before; I found it strangely comforting to reminisce, forgotten memories brought back to life.

As the fire crackled in the background, a certain image catches my eye. A portrait of myself. Elena Gilbert, 2005. Created at a time I would give anything in the world to go back to. A time when I was happy, when I was everything I ever wanted to be. Human. I feel a strange hatred rising up inside me, and my eyes begin to fill with tears. The girl in the picture appears identical to me, but I don't recognise her at all. So innocent. What happened to that girl? The same smile on the same face, except back then the smile was real. Becoming a vampire was a viable explanation for the change. But that wasn't the reason . I know what caused it. My brother is dead, and no one seems to care. I suppose they think I've grown used to it by now: maybe they think it doesn't hurt any more. They're wrong.

Flipping the page in frustration, a single piece of paper sails out and glides down to rest on the floor by the fire. Setting the album on the stained table, I stand up and wander towards the fallen picture. As I dust away the ashes which have fallen upon it, I see the face in the photograph. Damon. His charming smile lighting up the dull room, as it always does. It is so infectious that I feel myself grinning, my eyes fixed upon his printed face. _Stop it, Elena. You're not supposed to be thinking about him. He is a monster; he's nothing on Stefan. You're supposed to be in love with Stefan. _By this point I find it difficult to convince myself. The picture is almost perfect...but by his side stands a figure who's presence makes my expression drop instantly. Katherine Pierce. His first love. His so-called destiny. His eternal heartbreak. It may be silly and immature of me to hate her the way I do, but that's the funny thing about love. Someone ends up happy, someone ends up hateful and someone, inevitably, ends up heart broken.

Sometimes I wonder why I haven't stolen it yet. I know exactly where it is. The cure is with Damon, in a drawer of the cabinet in the living room. With Silas possessing people left right and centre, I suppose it is safer there. That is if Bonnie's spell is successful tonight. Maybe it is as everyone says: maybe the cure _is _meant for Caroline. But that doesn't stop me desiring it so. To stick my finger with a drawing pin, and _bleed_. A future of travelling, killing, having the stereotypical idea of a good time. Centuries to be spent utterly companionless. _Caroline deserves the cure, she's endured so much hurt, and we can't risk turning her humanity off. She cries all the time, she's lost so much. We can't risk losing her, hurting her again. _What do I think? Maybe Caroline does deserve the cure. Maybe she has gone through a lot. And maybe it does hurt. But the real trouble comes when it _doesn't_ hurt. The real trouble comes when you _don't _cry. It becomes physically impossible. When you feel completely numb to the core. You feel empty. Nothing. It seems ridiculous, but I'd give anything to feel again. Anything. I suppose that is why I have left the cure alone, because she will be human and won't have the option to turn it off. Emotions are not something to be taken for granted: and neither are they something to be underestimated. She will _have _to feel, and she will _have_ to deal with it. I _want _Caroline to take the cure. As much as I do find her frustrating, I would never wish this upon anybody. No one deserves to feel as though they don't exist while their heart is still beating. No one.

Wandering back towards the sofa, I pick up the album and try to slide the picture back into it's pouch, catching another glimpse of Damon's brooding face. As the fire dies down, I realise I am squinting in the darkness. The storm has long since passed and only a few burning embers remain, a glimmer in the blackness. The room has fallen into complete silence, but the noise in my head is deafening. I need to get out of here. As I turn and run to the hallway, I drop the album and it hits the floor with a dull thud. The front door slamming shut behind me, Damon's photograph glides down and comes to rest by the fireplace as the final glowing ember is engulfed by the darkness.

** So there we have it, the first chapter. Please review if you can, I appreciate all the feedback :) n.b - I apologise if I update very slowly, I'm currently sitting exams in school. I'll try to be as fast as possible. Thank you! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys! Thank you to all who have read so far. I just wanted to point out that in this story, Elena hasn't burned down her house and her humanity is still on. Please review :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaries.**

Changes

**Chapter 2**

The air was thick with tension in the Salvatore mansion as the pair congregated in the living room. An array of candles, strange looking herbs and other such magic supplies littered the floor around them, with Bonnie perched precariously at the epicentre. A tall figure stood leaning against the door frame, watching her every move intently. His dark hair sat wiry and perfectly messy, his sharp blue eyes penetrating the back of her head as she skimmed through the pages of several old and battered books.

"Damon, do you mind?", she turned to face him, her face clouding with frustration. "You're burning a hole in my cranium".

Giving a soft chuckle and pushing himself upright, he wandered across the room, dodging a few candles and stones as he did so.

"How long is this going to take, Bennett?", his words lingering in the high ceilinged room as he examined a shining emerald crystal, his expression mildly puzzled.

The witch's face grew even more annoyed as she hissed her reply to him. "As long as it takes, _Salvatore_". With a sigh, she rose from her nest on the floor and snatched the stone from his hand. "_Don't _touch". Turning on her heels and crouching with her head over a book, her eyes were tired and gleaming.

Damon's lips curved into a casual smile as he stuck his tongue out and pulled a mocking face behind her back. Rain was still battering the windows, displaced leaves and the contents of overturned trash cans swirling in a stormy torrent.

Whipping her head around, Bonnie drew daggers at the Salvatore. "You're _not _helping. I _have _to get this right; we can't have Silas being able to freely wander in whenever he pleases. You want this place Silas- proof? You'll wait."

With a chuckle, Damon strode past her and into the kitchen, calling over his shoulder. "You have a half hour, you're stinking up my home". There followed a series of crashes and bangs, with a few muttered curses from the Salvatore.

"What are you _doing_ in there?", Bonnie called, her voice dripping with frustration at the racket. The rain had made it hard enough to concentrate, never mind anything else.

Almost immediately, Damon returned to the room, bearing in his hand a large bottle of bourbon. "None of your business". He eyed her cockily and knocked back a mouthful.

Shaking her head in disapproval, Bonnie began to light the candles surrounding her. Their glow cast eerie shadows all around them, dancing menacingly on the smooth walls. Her hair fell loosely about her shoulders as she strategically placed crystals in a circle around her. For the next few moments she sat silently in the centre, her eyes closed tightly and her face determined. Damon stood mesmerised, pausing with the bottle half way to his mouth. Several minutes of quiet passed, the only sound being the roar of the wind and the flickering of the candle flames. Seemingly without warning, the flames were extinguished and Bonnie's eyes sprung open, a slight smile spreading onto her face.

"It's done".

* * *

Pulling my jacket tightly around my shoulders, I hurry down the path towards the looming Salvatore mansion. Through the curtains of the dimly lit living room, I can make out the dark silhouettes of Bonnie and Damon, apparently arguing like children, yet again. His figure, tall and well-sculpted... it takes everything in me not to stare as I slowly approach the front door. The lamp by the porch lights my way enough to cast long shadows in my wake as I reach out to knock twice on the solid wood. After a few moments, I hear brisk footsteps approaching the other side. _Please be him._ I internally scald myself for wishing such things. The footsteps come to a halt as a hand is placed on the doorknob. _What if it's him? Be cool, Elena..._ Before I can stop my subconscious ramblings, the door is swung open, to reveal quite possibly the biggest disappointment of the night.

"Oh, hey, Elena!", the witch's voice greets my rapidly falling expression, which she undoubtedly picks up on without fail. "Are you okay...?"

Forcing myself back to reality, I offer a small smile as I nod at her. "Hey, Bon.. Yeah, I'm fine. Is it done?" To my inquiry, Bonnie nods quickly and stands aside from the door.

"I think it worked. Though there _is _a little clearing up to do... Come on in, we could use an extra pair of hands". I can't help but notice the jacket slung over the banister, one I knew immediately as Damon's. With a small breath, I step into the hallway, with Bonnie gently closing the door behind me. A peculiar kind of smell hangs in the air as I make my way further inside, one which I quickly identify as a mixture of bourbon, newly-extinguished candles and crushed sage.

The living room lies littered with burnt-out wicks, varied herbs, scattered books and every colour, size and shape of crystal imaginable. My vampire-enhanced sense of smell picks up the lingering tone of his cologne, signalling he hasn't long left the room.

"You don't mind helping with the clear up, do you?", Bonnie appears by my side, pulling me from my observations.

"No, not at all", my reply comes as I bend down to begin gathering up a few candles. "Are you positively sure it worked?" Bonnie emits a small sigh as she wanders past me to sort through her books.

"I can't say for sure yet, but I hope so", to the uncertainty in her voice, I give a reassuring nod. I know she never has much faith in her abilities, but I trust everything she does.

"Well... look who joined the party". His voice from directly behind me makes my body stiffen less than subtly, which I pray he doesn't notice, as I stand up to turn and face him. The smirk plastered across his features does not offer me the reassurance I'd hoped for. Sliding my hands into the back pockets of my jeans, I try to come off as casually as possible.

"I'm just passing through..", the slight stutter in my reply seems to hang in the air, tauntingly. _Get it together, Elena, you hate him... _I internally kick myself once again. His icy blue eyes scan me over, and I cant help but feel the tiniest bit self-conscious.

"Um, hello? A little help here?", Bonnie's mildly irritated voice cuts through the silence, which I am every bit thankful for.

"Watch the demands, Bennett". Damon rolls his eyes as he carefully kicks a few rounded crystals towards her.

"Hey- _careful!_", she catches them in her palms, glaring up at him. I roll my eyes at both of them, gathering in the last of the candles and setting them away.

"Enough, both of you. You're terrible". Damon gives a light chuckle in my direction, but I avoid making any form of eye contact with him. Bonnie slings her bag over her shoulder, sighing deeply as she places both of her hands gently to rest upon my shoulders.

"Do me a favour and kill him, would you?", she places a friendly kiss to my cheek before cutting her cold glare at Damon on her way to the door. "I'm going home before I do so myself. I called Stefan, he'll be here soon on Silas-watch. You two have fun!", her voice trails off as the door is closed behind her. A heavy silence presses down on the both of us as we stand in the newly-cleared living room.

Alone.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello! Thank you to everyone who's read so far. My updates are probably going to be noticeably slower as my school work piles up. However as always I'll do my best to be as fast as possible :) thank you!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaries.**

Changes

**Chapter 3**

The newly-lit fire crackles quietly in the background as Damon strolls by me to refill his empty bourbon glass. Neither of us have spoken a word, which I am every bit thankful for, seeing as my throat has never felt dryer in my life. _You really ought to say something, you know... _My mind taunts me with it's confidence. _And say what?_ Thoughts surround me as a low rumble of thunder rings out into the night. The storm hasn't subsided after all, and the heavy rain is beginning to pick up once more, lashing at the windows. _Comment on the lovely weather, will you? _I roll my eyes in self-loathing. _No. I'm just going to be-_

"Hey, Earth to Elena? Do you respond?", I am snapped out of my mental conflicts as Damon waves a palm in front of my apparently zoned-out features. I find myself momentarily transfixed by his shockingly blue eyes as I lift my gaze, trying, and failing to form words. _Say something... Come on, this is pathetic, words, use them... _Spurred on by my inner annoyance, I manage to mumble a few stuttered syllables.

"I'm sorry, what did you.. I mean, did you-"

"A drink", he lifts his glass toward me, as if I might have forgotten what the word means. "Would you like?" Following a few automatic nods of my head, he turns his back to me to fill another glass with the amber liquid. I take this as an opportunity to breathe out a long, slow sigh, as I make my way across the rug to perch myself on the leather couch. The crackling of the fire coupled with the clinking of glasses provides an odd sort of comfort I'd no clue I was craving. It feels weird to think that the one thing all this fuss is about, the 'big deal', is but a few feet away, in the drawer. The cure.

"You're going to have to stop doing that, you know", Damon's voice half-startles me as I glance up at him. "It's getting creepy". With a further roll of my eyes, I reach up to take the outstretched glass from his grip, swiftly knocking back a large mouthful. His semi-permanent smirk resurfacing, he takes his seat beside me on the couch, throwing an arm across the back, just short of my shoulders. His icy gaze studies me in scrutinising detail, to which I chew on my bottom lip. "Something on your mind, Buffy?" Exasperated, I narrow my eyes in his direction.

"Nothing worth talking about with _you, _and I thought I told you long ago not to call me that". The new-found authority in my voice brings a small smile on my part, and I feel myself relaxing back into the sofa.

"Well, I don't take orders from baby vamps", smirk widening, he raises his glass towards me. "Cheers". I tip my own towards him in return as I grin, pressing the rim to my lips once again and taking a small gulp. The dryness in my throat is finally eliminated, as I lower the glass to my lap once more.

"Bonnie said she called Stefan"- Damon's hand lifts to wave off my words dismissively.

"Never mind Stefan. What's on your mind?", he glances between the drawer and I, and for a second I feel a little worried about his intentions. _Relax, he can't read your mind. _Apparently aware of my fresh state of mild discomfort, Damon shakes his head. "I only mean.."

"I know", I nod once in his direction. "You're doing the gentlemanly thing. It's customary to be overly paranoid about me, after all, I just lost my brother, became a vampire, refused the cure to my eternal burden and other such delights". The sudden harshness to my words brings a small wince from him, and I feel my heart sinking. Softening my tone, I frown before attempting my immediate apology. "Damon, I'm sorry"-

"Don't apologise. It's rough, I've been there", his features darken for a moment as he flashes me a quick glimpse of his fangs, before slowly shrinking them away. "Remember?" Giving a light chuckle, I nod at him.

"Okay, point taken". A sudden bolt of lightening and clap of loud thunder makes me visibly jump, and I can't help but notice the way his hand instinctively shoots to my shoulder, providing gentle reassurance. Breathing a slow sigh to calm myself, I close my eyes as I feel my heart race. I'm not sure which to blame for that, my fright, or his touch.

"Easy, relax", his words are cool and collected as he removes his hand from my shoulder. I'm sure I can detect a hint of endearment in his eyes as I cautiously open my own, meeting his concerned gaze. For several moments we stare in silence at one another, and my lips part with my breath as he moves in closer. Leaning toward him, I allow my eyes to flutter closed once more. I can feel his hot breath against my nose as he progresses closer still, and I'm ashamed to remember he can hear the racing of my heart in my chest. His lips are but a hair's distance from mine, when suddenly the front door is swung open, and we booth slide back to opposite sides of the couch.

"In your own time, brother", Damon tactfully breaks the impending awkward silence. I can feel his gaze burning into the corner of my eye, but I do not dare turn to face him.

"It's hardly the weather for driving", Stefan replies with equal measures of sarcasm as he hangs his dripping jacket over the coat hook. "And on such short notice...", he shrugs as he enters the room, quickly glancing between Damon and myself. "Did it work".

"We think so, yes", I rise from my position on the couch with my hurried response, before Damon can chip in. "Bonnie said she wasn't entirely sure, but yes. As far as we know, Silas can't set foot in here, for the time being". Retrieving my discarded jacket from the spot I had been sitting in, I shrug it quickly over my shoulders and ruffle my trapped hair loose. "I need to get home, I have..", my words trail off as I accidentally meet Damon's stare, which has been fixed upon my every move. "... Stuff to handle". Without further words, I move towards the door, before Damon picks himself up and joins in unison with Stefan in calling me back.

"Elena?", both Salvatores stand side by side as I spin back around to face them. With a single glance at Stefan, Damon takes a small step forward to stand slightly closer to me than his brother.

"Are you sure you're okay?", an unusual softness to his voice tugs at the pit of my stomach. _What are you doing, you're supposed to hate him, remember? _I muster the most convincing nod I can as I pull the front door slightly ajar.

"I'll be fine". Figuring it best not to extend my answer any further, I offer them both a slight forced smile, one which Stefan returns. Damon remains quiet, and I do not give him ample opportunity to change that as I step outside, leaving the door half-open. The wind has died down by now, and cold, heavy rain has taken its place. Pulling my jacket tighter around me, I bow my head in determination and make my way along the path, headed home.


End file.
